Back to Square One?

[mamabird]

Great job Wendy. From where I sit, it looks like you both want a better M but don't know how to get there. You are very stuck in these patterns. I agree that you will need to be the one to try to break them and it will take months.

Something that helped me early on was setting small goals for change. One of yours could be "He will stick around for 2 minutes to discuss The Good Wife." "He will stay at the dinner table until I finish." This will help you feel like you've had some success and will help you keep going.

One thing I'm trying to do is take inventory of the things I can live with and the things I can't live with. That might help you too as you go down the path. For me, I can tolerate most things, but not the punishing, not the emotional stonewalling. Think about this as you set your goals.