Arsene, you sound really strong, so that's awesome.
I'm curious about the reasons for your 1st D. You said they were the same reasons your W wants to end your M. Did you figure this our by readind DB or by thinking about things?
I wrote to my 1st W a few months ago. First contact in 8 years. Told her I was in the middle of introspection and, among other things, asked her why she left. She said that she'd lost herself in me/us. She said she now thought she went around it the wrong way but she just didn't know how to reclaim herself and just ran away from it all.
She said she no longer blamed me for it. She blames herself for not being more open about her feelings. For being too agreeable. For not having the strength to stand up for herself in the face of what she now calls my passionate zest for life, but which IMO, is really just my overbearing arrogant assumption that I must be right. I then wrote back to tell her about my present sitch and that this was why I was getting some feedback about my life. I also told her not to be too hard on herself because it would appear she was right about me after all, since my 2nd W left for pretty much the same reasons, as far as I can tell.
About sounding strong? I guess I'm faking it real good.
Arsene, it's good to got some feedback from your first W. I kind of saw myself in what she said about being too agreeable and not standing up for myself, but I never thought about leaving my H bc of this. I think everybody reacts differently to the same circumstances. But overall, the fact that you're thinking about how you could be a better H is what matters.
I'm good at sounding strong too, even if I don't really feel it :-)
Your short-term plan sounds good.
My challenge to you: your December deadline. Why December? What if things don't change? I would stay away from a hard deadline and re-evaluating as time goes by...
