"This is something I cannot show him that I can change when Im NC with him:( "


you are not NC. i see examples of texting and phone conversations. you have opportunities to show him changes, to be positive. you will have to use these limited exchanges to be kind and positive, no matter how he is.

it's good practice to be this way with everyone (strangers, your kids, your family) until it becomes habit.

M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing