Crazy Strange Glorious

[tpc1977]

One thing that hit me this morning pretty hard. Actually, really hard. Rejection has been a big part of my life. I have had to face it growing up in so many different areas.

My father rejected me by calling me names that forced me into knowing I was never good enough to be his son - or even a man. Kids in school and in my neighborhood rejected me because I was different. Several girlfriends rejected me for someone else. My wife rejected me for someone else.

My God rejected me because He doesn't hear or acknowledge my prayers.

Not saying this is all true. This is just a sense of what I've faced - what has been marked on my heart. This is a major healing I need to accept as I grow through this. So please don't take this as a "Feeling Sorry For Myself" time. It's just something that i was in prayer about this morning. I was reading about certain areas of our lives that we do not allow Christ to enter and receive His healing.

Jesus stands at the door and knocks. He stands on the outside and knocks. He does not force Himself in, but waits until we open the door from the inside. Not only for salvation but every room where we have closed Him off. One room is that of rejection.

I was always a runt until after high school. Now I'm 6' and fit. But I got picked last a lot. My father and brother and so-called friends picked on me because of it. I really never went out with a girl until after high school either but by then my confidence was already lacking. Women sense that and run from it.

I've been more confident lately but I still feel this monstrous sense of rejection in my life. Especially now. My wife found someone better and my God doesn't care. (or so that's how I feel internally). This is an area I need a ton of work in and will probably have to hire contractors to help me with it.