So I kept asking him to make sure the H doesn't think it's me who sent him there.
NO!! What you should have said is "DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!" He is very likely going to do much more harm than good.
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He said he would not make H think that way.
He can't control what your H thinks, and it's quite likely that ANY mutual friend that talks to your H is going to make him think that you're behind it whether you are or not.
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I'm kinda scared of H resenting me more after this visit.
Your concerns are legit.
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But again, I can't control anything.
Sure you can. Explain to the friend that based on what you've learned, any attempt on his part to intervene is going to not only NOT help your H, but will also cause damage to your attempts to reconcile. This is exactly what I've told my friends who have offered to "help". Their hearts are in the right place, but they simply don't know anything about what works (DB'ing).
