Next Step, Moving On

[dorightman]

She hasn't been able to get the space she needs because for the past two months I've really been struggling with detaching and I made ALOT of DB mistakes. I don't think I've been able to give her more than a day or two before doing something wrong like punishing her or wanting to hang out with her, etc.
She doesn't believe I can do a separation living in the same house because I haven't been able to yet.
She has not shown any interest or concern in my well being, just a little sympathy and then anger and resentment. She is detached from me, if I want anything from her, it weighs her down.
Her threat of moving out with the kids is made to me with and without emotion.
She has said that if I would have responded at the beginning of this with a powerful, positive, confident ability to say "I understand you need space, I'll move out and separate from you for three month", she would have had a change of heart.
Now she says it's too late, I did everything wrong and it only exaggerated all the reasons she wants a D.
My confusion over moving out or not comes from me wanting to save our M, knowing that W only wants me out and says it's what she needs to heal, and then the advice from everyone here not to move out.
The kids want and need their mother probably more than me. Since their birth, I've been away ALOT with my work, and have spent the majority of their life with w.
They do love and need me and when I'm home, I do spend a good amount of time with them. W just wouldn't ever move out and leave them here with me.
I know she would never try to keep them from me, but she probably would want to control the custody agreement.
It's all very depressing to me to think about.
Thanks again Stander.