Total Eclipse by Dan Band

[2chiquitos]

Thank you Bustingout n Arsene!
I do feel good. There are moments when I'm down but I'm able to pick myself up from them a lot better.

Journaling#######################
H n I took the kids to a bday party. Kids had a great time. There was a photobooth and he suggested we take a pix the four of us...I was thinking just the kids but why not?

Guests at the party were coming up and saying, "I didn't recognize you. You look GREAT!" me: (beaming)

I wondered what could it have been. They said the bangs and lighter shade of hair color. I've gone dark for so long that it's been years I went lighter.

All in all it was really nice. Absolutely no expectations.

Tomorrow H had planned we go hiking with the kids but he changed it to going shopping for the kids at the outlets. I was ok with that although I was looking forward to the hike. Then he invited his mom. I was ok with that too but now I was REALLY looking forward to the hike. I felt resentment creeping up.

Resentment: H includes his mother in family outings when I look forward to family time. Ex. Trip to San Fran 3yrs ago. H invited her and since S4 was only 1yr old I spent most of the time in the hotel while H n MIL and SIL had a great time!

How did I contribute? I never said how much I was looking forward to the trip as a family (excluding MIL n SIL). I should have said, if we plan on taking this trip with extended family then let's plan a trip in the next 2mos where it's just us.

How can I work on this resentment? Tell him, I enjoy having your mother along however I would also like to have time without her soon (within the next week).

So I just got off the phone and told him. I think I said it in a much softer way than the way I used to talk to him. He gave a big sigh and agreed. I asked if it was ok and he said yes.

I don't feel comfortable with that big sigh and I don't want to assume... Just leaving it up to God.

But..I think it's cuz I brought up the trip to SF as an ex as to how he includes MIL when I would rather it just be us.