The Lure of the Siren

[Arsene]

Trust the process as Cadet says.

(I realise I am only re-quoting the vets! But I believe it...hopefully i can DO it).

I hope you are okay Arsene. :-)

Thanks Busting. It helps to be reminded once in a while. I'm much better this morning. W is coming to spend the night so I'm planning on going out again this evening. No plans yet but if nothing else, I'll just dress up and go to some cafe with Wifi and come and read some threads for a few hours.

It feels like I'm playing a game and I don't like it but I have to "act as if" and "fake it til I make it". I think W has it in her mind that I just sit here every night waiting for her (which isn't/wasn't totally wrong) and I have to make an effort to show her that I do have a life (even if it's still not totally true).

Last night I met with the leader of the blues band I'm thinking about managing and we had a really nice talk. He seems to like my ideas and to be excited at the prospect of working with me. We actually get on well and he even offered to come around my house to jam and teach me a few blues licks. He knows my W and we talked a bit about that. I told him that we weren't together anymore and that I was giving her time to see what she wanted out of life. One step towards working my way out of denial, I guess.

The owner of the cafe where I play is also excited about working with me so GAL-wise, it looks good. I still feel a bit empty though, but I suppose that's going to get better.