New to DB and Clearly Oblivious to My "Horrible" M

[NickB]

Journaling and continuing questions:

Appeared that the last few days were going well in the sense that I have not seen as much fire and venom. That changed today out of the blue. My wife had a phone call with her younger sister this morning and I know she has been seeking guidance from her sister lately. Not sure what was said but as I came in the room, my W tells me that she is sick of people feeling like they can weigh in on her situation. I asked what she meant. W said her sister feels like she can bring up our M each day and try to provide W with guidance and W does not like this daily barrage.

I validated her feelings and asked her to tell me more about what she was feeling. W explained that she has no answers right now. She has no job, has no stability and cannot make decisions she wants to because of this. I validated that she sounds frustrated. She agreed and said that she was also mad because I appear to be enjoying my job lately. I validated again and said I was. She started to turn angry and said that its not fair that I am happy right now and she is not. Again, valdated that she sounds frustrated. She raises her voice and says I need you to move out of the bedroom.

Without acting too surprised, I told her that I understand she is frustrated and looking for answers and that I have tried hard to show her that if she needs to exit our R in order to find happiness that I am not trying to stop her and will support her. I also let her know I had no intentioned of moving out of the bedroom. She got angry and responded, “I can see you are going to make this divorce difficult,” and then stormed out of the room.

Ouch.

We wnet almost two months without her mentioning D and it is back – for the moment. I keep telling myself this is a marathon and not a sprint, but internally her mentioning D occasionally puts me back on my heels internally.

Should be interesting going to bed this evening.