New to DB and Clearly Oblivious to My "Horrible" M

[NickB]

I think it will be helpful for you to look into your W's situation in a more in-depth way. You might want to make an appt for you with an IC who works with these issues to discuss things. I don't know where you live but look for resources for postpartum depression/perinatal mood disorders. Research postpartum support international.

There is a great book, Postpartum Husband, which could be very helpful.

I will read the book. I am interested in learning more. I will admit that even if this is part of the issue, approaching her will be almost impossible in her current state. She will quickly think I am trying to analyze her or control her in some way and that will just not fly right now. Wont stop me from learning, but I will likely be the fireman that shows up to the fire but is asked not to put the house out. Frustrating.

Don't talk to her about this until you are sure you are on the right path and know exactly how you want to proceed, hopefully with the guidance of a skilled therapist. She probably thinks she's just fine or at least is trying to appear to be just fine.

Exactly.

Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I am in need of lots of guidance and questions to help me pick this apart. I appreciate it.