I also know I'm not comfortable with her calling the girls and wanting to do things with them while they are with me. It's like I want my wife to vanish while I'm here. She should not be.
It hurts deep just knowing that she is totally fine without me - maybe even very happy. Her satisfaction in our situation, her moved on completely and me alone, grates my soul. In my mind, and heart, she has no pain without me.
The only way I can describe this is like I woke up after a 15 year dream of having a wife. Then realizing that isn't so. The woman I thought I had never had a life with me. I still have all these feeling produced from the dream and she shrugs them off.
I cannot shake this and it's what drives me a bit mad sometimes. But I have to accept it and keep quiet and stay patient while I wait.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
