Bea, Your posting is spot on and comes from the heart.
Heather, As Bea pointed out, it does help people to understand more about MLC. When I was slammed w/an mlcing h, I immediately began doing research to see what may have been the problem. When his brother told me that my h needed to find himself, I knew then life was never going to be the same for me. I actually took time and "studied" the mlc monster and continue to do so 12 years later.
Bea is correct in saying that mlc is complicated and there is no quick fix for it. Some of them will seek out therapy and they get bored w/it and others will try AD's and then stop for whatever excuse. But the bottom line is that we weren't the "root" cause of the problem and only they can fix themselves, just as addicts have to hit bottom.
Today, I'm a different person, i.e., more compassionate, understanding and willing to actually step back and allow others to fix themselves versus me supplying the answers to how to go about it.
Bea, I'm right there w/you, i.e., a nice glass of wine, a warm fire and plenty of time to just sit and talk as a group sound like a wonderful idea.
Heather, the pain you are going through is horrible and yes, unbelievable, bit I promise you, it will lessen in time. Right now, you are in the early stages of your journey and it's going to take some time to find your balance...but you will. Feel the pain, allow it to wash over your body and then let it go. Usually when the pain is the greatest is when we are learning something new about ourselves and we grow from that pain and experience.
Hang in there. We are all here for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
