i sure don't want h knowing alllllll this goop. way i figure is this- if mwd is saying DON'T have r talks - this would be the kiss of death. if these people are supposed to be ALLOWED to do what they do (to us) and be what they are (awful) and not know it- that knowing it would create an obstacle soooooo huge they would never ever even have the gumption or shame to try to "come back" to the decent side -
then- reading our total honest assessment of them sure wouldn't help - maybe it would- but honestly- my gut says he doens't need to know this personal side of my misery- i just hate the thought. it's so much pain- it's sooooo personal (funny huh that i can spill my guts to a bunch of strangers - i don't miss the irony of whati'm saying) it's MY PLACE to go- my buds, MY lifeline - etc.
as for friends - I think also that everyone here is feeling something similar - and it's mighty bad. people not in our shoes this very moment- bleeding probably to one extent or another- are not going to have the same level of understanding of what we're saying and feeling.
it's not just "pity" here- it's understanding really and trying to put your own spin on stuff and help someone out - while they're hellping you out- it's not just wah wah- it's possibly an idea exchange that is constructive too -
i chat with some mighty kind friends- i can see in their eyes and in their "response" to my sitch that they keep mum about their opinion as to what i should really do with(to) h- it's kind of them and i appreciate it because i don't need more judgement or plea for action than i heap on myself. everyone knows that it floating around out there and what our society expects someone wronged to do- soooo- i'm thinking they are well meaning and want me to be happy- but they're not able to really really "get it" like the folks here. )
i'm being unfair to a couple people - they seem to understnd what we're tryign to do- but still want to scream "dump him" at the top of their lungs - but don't. good friends aren't they? to try tohelp and to rise above that urge ??? i do appreciate them all - honestly.
i have a friend who is a real paranoid & super snooper kind of gal. she was tryign to get me to say what the forum was i go to- not on your life. she'd be in here reading it all- kind of like (sorry) a vampire feasting on some poor jerk's blood- i can picture it- some people just can't help themselves from "enjoying" (for want of a bettter word) others's pain and misery because it reinforces that their life-husband- whatever isn't so bad. i do not need to be providing that to anyone.
i like her- i think she's a good person- it's just a side of her that is there- ta da. good luck with your own journey and thanks for comment- i thhink we all sound "insane" sometimes- that's what i mean- feeling this much grief and pain kind of makes younutty and you need other people who know - telling you it's okay- get it out- and we understand and it's not nutty under such a big stress as this all - i know my posts sound crazy sometimes and i chase my tail- i don't mind here - it helps me to know others feel same way too - thank God for dawnmarieQQQ!!!!!
