Now Separated. Am I doing the right things?

[Arsene]

Re: Now Separated. Am I doing the right things? No.

Sorry Rough but as Accuray pointed out, what ever happened to "I'm behaving like a married man"?

Listen, I'm not here to judge you mate. In the end you do what you think is best however, ask yourself if this is serving your primary goal. What is your primary goal? Becoming a better person? Reconciling with your wife? Saving your family? If it's any of these or all three (as in my case) what you are doing now isn't serving that.

If your wife is on the fence right now and not sure where to go, this is the sort of thing that would probably send her the other way. Now, I'm not saying that you should be afraid of your wife. I'm saying that you spent hours deciding what text to send to reply to an innocent message from your W to make sure you get it right. How long did you spend making this particular decision?

Having said all of this, of course if your primary goal has changed since we last spoke, that is a different question. Then all I would ask you is if you think you are ready to enter another relationship at this point? Have you come to some sort of closure with your W? Have you even told her that you were considering seeing other people?

I'm saying all of this yet I sooo understand what you are going through mate. I've thought about it a lot as well.

It would be nice to be held tight by someone who seems to care and want to be with me. It would be great to have someone to share life with, the small stuff as well as the big stuff. It would be great to feel wanted and needed again, and it will be at one time. With my W or with another woman. Now however, I've got a lot of work to do to make myself happy. To get to the point where I don't NEED another woman to make me feel great. To a point where I can feel great just being who I am.

When you walk with a cane, whether you need it or not, you'll start to limp.

Take care of yourself mate, and think about how far you've come. Is this really where you want to call it a day? Will you be able to tell your kids that you've given it all you had?