Nobody here wants it, it's why we are here...what do you need?
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2: It forces me to change the path that I choose.
And it $ucks, but the really cool thing about choices is that they are just that...choices.
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3: I miss his and want to spend time with him as husband and wife.
In what way ? Refer to # 1 and 2
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4: It made me feel rejected (Which I'm working on.)
You are not alone. But know that you do NOT need to be externally validated by someone else.
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5: I wanted my kids to have two full time parents, living together.
In the eventuality that doesn't happen they need two parents, even if they don't live together.
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6: I don't like it when my kids are not here with me.
A lot of us have defined ourselves by our kids; explore why you don't like it when kids are not with you....
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7: I miss the closeness, the companionship the fun times.
Me too, but I think it is the LBS who tends to idealize and the WAS who vilifies
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8: The thought of him being with OW hurts. (Because i want him to me and me only)
It will hurt. No one wants to think they are not enough. But you are, trust me.
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9: I feel he made the wrong decision.
That's fine. But ultimately you cannot decide for someone else, you can only decide for you
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10: I thought we were soul mates.
Define soul mate.....
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11: The thought I could have made him feel so unhappy hurts.
Me too. That is the worst thought I have. But people have to ensure their own happiness as well. If I or you make someone unhappy, they have to say so.
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12: I didn't see the signs and I feel disappointed in myself because of it.
What signs? Hindsight is always 20/20 if you've ever noticed, signs are on both sides of the highway, going in both directions, to be seen by all drivers.
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I could go on but the pattern would be the same. It's all about me, It's selfishness really.
Again, see number 7 and 12. And the pattern won't be the same. Once you start to change, the way you interact Is different as well. Once one part of the equation changes it is never the same.
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I still have people telling me they are sorry to hear and some of them sort of dig for information but i don't feel the need to talk about H any more.
When people say they are sorry, I like to say " so am I" and change the subject....
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. I think I'm too "proud" to say that I fall to pieces a lot.
Personally, I like to say I'm trying my best and some days are better than others. Pride got me to the place I am in right now...I am done with that.
