The green green grass of home

[Soul.Searching]

You know, I think I can kind of understand in a way, how they can be so messed up. I've usually got a pretty "clear" head but these days what I'm thinking/ feeling can change in an instant. I'm all over the place, I'm sure if I re-read all my posts here, I would find many contradictions I have made. Probably even in a single post.
For the one who made the decision, knowing that the concerquences are on their head, well I can't imagine and quite frankly, dont want to. Especially when there are children involved. My H has told me that it constantly plays on him about weather he made the right decision or not.
Well I don't know if it does but that would have to mess up, a messed up person even more.
I told H in a text about a week ago that I know he is confused too but I found my strength and I regained respect for myself and that I like me. He didn't reply but texted "hi" the next morning. I guess how could he respect himself right now? I know I couldn't if I had done the things he has.