i think we hold on because we're afraid. we're afraid of change and the unknown. we tend to think that it's better to have what we know vs. what's not.
sometimes we're right, but sometimes we're holding on to something that is not good for us.
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Still no response. This may sound dumb but I sort of thinking he is sneaking to text. I thought the same yesterday when he sent text to S14 during school day.
Funny how they leave us for elusive freedom and yet they now have to sneak to do stuff they could do quite freely before. You'd think they'd get it much faster.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Funny how they leave us for elusive freedom and yet they now have to sneak to do stuff they could do quite freely before. You'd think they'd get it much faster.
Oh you said it. That really just boggles my mind. I wonder how long it will take for him to "get" it? She must be very threatened by me AND the children. Pitiful that a grown "woman" could feel that way about children. Oh well. Not my concern. The girls and I are heading to our awesome library to spend the day. :-) Have a good day all!
I remember when my H first started his PA in May he did not contact the kids for more than two weeks straight. Not a peep. After almost three weeks, he sent a text saying he wants to speak to the kids. I said sure. And he never followed up.
I had images of OW catching him in the bathroom or something and wrestling the phone out of his hand. lol
I notice whenever he is with her, he does not contact the kids. What do they have to do with it? I guess its guilt and OW instructions.
Who knows.
I hope your library day was awesome. You are amazing :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Well he texts again - where are you? this was at 12:30. He claims he sent me a text saying he would be at his dads at 12 to see the kids. (I never ever got it. Still haven't) I responded with we are at the library leaving in 15 min. why? I'm at dads want to see kids. I responded with Sorry. Why didn't you call to make arrangements then. He was saying how he sent me a text blah blah. I just stayed calm although I did say you created this situation. He said whatever then started on me. I did get tired of his mouth and hung up on him. I sent another text saying This is the only time I will do this. In the future call the evening before. D12 isn't even here she stayed with a friend and S14 actually has plans. I have told you, you can see them whenever just give me notice and I do NOT want them around OW at this time. IC and I both feel it would be too difficult for them now.
So I get them up there and call him. When will you be leaving? His typical snide self. Why? What's it to you? I have things I need to do and it would be helpful to know when I should be back. I can stay just as long as I need to. So he said well I am going to call S14 phone since you blocked the other one. Which I did. I responded with - I didn't want to talk to you. Him- I wasn't calling to talk to you anyway. Me- That's fine but it was also to keep OW from her stupidity too. Then he starts again. I knew as soon as I came up here you would start. I knew blah blah blah. I shut my mouth. Never responded again. He hung up on me.
My perception- He's not at all thrilled with his situation. Of course- he is blaming it on me. Also, he is still not respecting my boundaries and really what I am asking is NOT in any way unreasonable. I would expect to know that from anyone they were visiting with. Not just him.
My thoughts are that if he tries to do this again, I will not make any exceptions in the future. He either respects the boundaries or the kids don't go. The problem is - it hurts them. However, the whole purpose behind it is to try to get him to be consistent and be here when he says he will be. They would get terribly upset before. We have a picture window and they would sit in front of it waiting. Sometimes they waited as long as 2 hours. I do know that this time, his father is the one that called him and tried to get him to set up visits. That's just appalling. He is almost 50 and can't even do this.
