Just writing, as I find it therapeutic. Bad day today emotionally...I'm trying to detach, but it's hard. It's hard for me to act normal, while getting financial ducks in a row, but I've had a few moments to myself where I can cry, scream, etc. Looked up an old therapist I had years ago that I really liked, and will call to make an appointment with them on Monday. Also looking up divorce support groups - my son is currently seeing a counselor for some of his issues, and they're starting a new group at their place for children of divorced/separated parents, so I'm going to ask about that.
I'm repeating that mantra that I'm a good person, wife, mother, friend and that helps. I've also added the mantra "I'm worth a lot", and that helps too. I just need an outlet to get out some of my emotions...the hard thing is H still talks about getting new christmas decorations for outside, who will get the next new car (we were talking about getting a new car next year when most of the debt is paid off), and it's killing me to not say something, but I take a deep breath and say the time will come soon to talk to him, as soon as I have my finances in order.
Kids have their friends over now, and H is outside, so I have some time to myself - I'm going to run an errand and have a good cry....
