Changing the locks might have felt good at the time, I'm wondering if it was an enormous mistake. Last night, we were planning to meet. I pushed our usual time back as I was out with a friend (me GAL'ing). W offered to bring carryout and I was really looking forward to spending some non-R-talk time with her.
I get home about 5 minutes late and find the carryout bag outside the door and her gone. I text her and 15 minutes later I get an email saying that she "didn't know I changed the locks" and "I should have told her". I wrote her back a flurry of emails explaining that I did it before halloween and that I was feeling violated because she could waltz in whenever she wanted but I don't even know where her apartment is, let alone have a key to it. I got radio silence back - not a word. I asked her how we were supposed to work it out if she refused to discuss it. Nothing back. So I stopped contacting her...
So now it is 16 hours later and still nothing. Do I maintain no contact? I know that my decision to change the locks was perfectly fair (really a response to her saying she was "happy" in her apartment and had "everything she needed") but I guess the timing feels wrong (things seemed to have a positive momentum). Why did she completely freak out? I didn't see this coming at all.
This seems like maybe a good example of not being goals oriented but instead being reactionary. When I ask myself why I changed the locks, it had more to do with feeling hurt than trying to achieve a goal.
