It's great you're creating this list. Be specific, and think about why each item is important to you. Ask yourself how much you'd be willing to compromise.
However, and this is key, you should not start talking about this list until you are both ready. She is not there yet. The day she says she wants the M to work--consistently, that's when she'll be ready.
I remember my H created this list of things for him to stay in the M shortly after I had received the emails from the OW telling me they had stayed in touch even after he had moved back into the house. I said to myself, is he kidding? How dare he give me this list when I can't even trust him? So timing is really important.
Anyway, my point is, focus on the important stuff and wait till the time is right.
Also, continue being cautious in regard to the OM. When my H moved back into the house, he used to call the OW "crazy parking lot woman," "Voldermnort," and other names like that, but he was emailing her/texting her via Skype behind my back...
