Tumbling-I hope you are feeling ok now ? (((( ))))
Even though H did respond to your text and it was a very nice and seemed sincere text, I would still suggest to back off some more.
I get the sense that your emotions are all over the place with thinking about what you want, H and his sometimes response/non response, the almost EA and your unmet needs. Its A LOT going on. You need to give yourself a chance to breath.
Stop and breath.
As for music? I know exactly what you mean.
((((( )))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks SoulSearching and Busting. Back on my blanket - it was an emotional crawl but I am here now. I was doing very well focusing on becoming more grounded in CGness until H and I hung out and he kissed me. I wish we didn't have good times together when we do see each other.
Writing a new CV about what a talented person I am has helped. I am having a day to my Self writing this job ap letter, reading some whale mgmt books, emailing friends and packing for next week. I might even get to the gym..?
I know staying on the CG (GAL) track is best for me and that unless H attaches his carriage to my engine (so to speak) then there is no relationship.
I have also learned my lesson on reaching out which was effectively shouting at the castle walls. New motto "If you put your hand in the fire Tumbling, you get burnt."
I am now keeping my hands to my Self! Leaning back with hands in pockets
We've all been there, Tumbling. I see that you are headed in the right direction. Your trip next week should be very beneficial for you.
In regard to the texts, I don't see any problem in replying when you get them (esp now that they are not that common.) But I would not initiate any texting.
Its so hard not initiating when I feel that he is feeling sorry for him Self. I want to reach out a friendly hand but I can't.
I've done me ap for the job now. I will send it on Monday. Fingers crossed for an interview in December.
I keep thinking about Christmas and that I want to spend it with H. It was horrible being apart last year. I have to book my flight soon if I am going to fly to my mom's. I want H to come with me but I know that we won't be sorted enough for that even if he comes closer between now and then.
Thanks Need Grace for your positive reaction to my sense of humour. Thank goodness I have one. It is very much needed in such circumstances.
I have already decided upon the name of next thread - I am going to share it now to give everyone a smile:
Staying off the ride - going commando!
i.e without panties there will be no bunching. I can't wait to be at that place...
I guess I can book my flight home and invite H to join me at some later date
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Make your plans. Have something to look forward too.
(((( ))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Love the new title. I'm sorry things have been so emotional for you. It's hard to do all this work and they simply do the smallest thing and it seems to come undone. Not so though- just recognizing how it affects you will help you to effect change the next time round. Take time to love yourself. Really love yourself. Is there something you do that you just lose track of time and become so immersed that you don't even look up? Do that for a bit.
Thanks MKB. I have been busy ALL day and now it's time for bed. I feel calm. Zero from H and I have no wish to disturb my peace by texting. H rises winds and sets waves across my still waters. I need to find a way to keep my boat pointing in the right direction. I will learn how to tack to stay the course and I will drop anchor when I need to.
