WTG Busting! That must have taken a lot of courage! Even if it was liquid lol. Good for you.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
So, you have moved the blanket and cranked the music....good for you!
About H, I think you have made some pretty startling changes in the past few threads. Made a lot of realizations about yourself, your R and even H.
I think it is dawning on H, that you have changed. You know, a lot of people say the WAS will not believe changes because it has been tried before and then we just slip back into the familiar habits and patterns.
When they do notice a change and start to wonder what the heck is happening, it is because that change has started to occur within us. We no longer act all the time, because these changes have started to become part of us
My C said that we never interact in a relationship the same way with two different relationships. The fact that we make changes in ourselves means we become different as well. Which is why, when it is all said and done, if you continue R with H it will be different, whether he has made changes or not. You are seeing these differences now.
Just my opinion, but I am so so happy for you Busting...I realize you are still grappling, but the journal post left me smiling
Wow!! I'm so proud of you Busting! Very interesting that all these friends and relatives of OW are coming around all of a sudden. You did well and handled yourself like a star. I'm sure H will hear about it and wonder who was that girl on the dance floor? Keep it up girl.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
i had tears in my eyes reading your post bc i was so so proud of you and in such awe!!! i can not imagine the strength and courage it took to not only stay there but to enjoy yourself!! you are a ROCK STAR, busting!!!!
and i love how you have been able to see that you are in the better place.... not H and definitely not OW. you have done the work to be happy.
i want to be just like you busting!! ((((((((( ))))))))) love you dear friend!
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
You were very, very brave about confronting the sitch with OW and you handled yourself with great poise and courage. You should be proud of yourself.
I know the focus now could tend to be to look back over your shoulder and see if your H is noticing...BUT you now know that it's not about that.
Originally Posted By: bustingout
I realized that this is it. I am going to be happy. I am going to enjoy my life. I don’t want to be stuck in that miserable place anymore. I am not going to live in reaction to H. He chooses to live in a dark place and I choose not too. I realized this is MY life and I get to choose how I live it. It was a great feeling.
This ^^^^ is what it's about!!! This is real growth and progress. Funny because last night I was updating my thread about how I have been stuck for a long time and how much I want to get unstuck. And you are doing it! You are getting to that place, the switch is turning and you are finally tired of feeling miserable. I remember someone saying that when we reach that point, things turn around big time and I can see it happening for you.
I cannot be happier for you, my dear friend - you deserve it. Keep that attitude going!!!
(((((busting)))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Soul, Ruby, Arsene, afa75, NG, KG, SD...!!!! Thank you so MUCh for your words of support and encouragement and love. (((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))
I was overwhelmed reading your replies. You really pumped me up. I feel so blessed to have found this place and to have found you all. My dear friends.
KG-Thank you for the reminder about not looking over my shoulder. I won't. I am going to do everything I can to keep looking forward.
And SD---It was a wicked hangover. But worth it lol.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Good for you Bustingout! Other's really were noticing you if they came up to you and gave you positive feedback. Nice ;-)
Also, your H seems to be more forthcoming, interesting. I remember when H started doing the same as yours back in Jan/Feb.
He also called to say he was running late. Kinda surprised me cuz he didn't give a d@mn if he was late before, not that he was. And calling to make sure we hadn't left so we could all go together. I used to think, I'd rather meet him there, but it didn't hurt to travel together. The kids loved seeing us both in the car.
S4 would say "mami, papi, mami, papi" over n over again. :-) Or he would say, "you're coming with us??!!!"
That's exactly why we do it, at least in the beginning. Then we do it for ourselves...
Take care love, many hugs to you and your little ones.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
