Curious how you have been working on this because I have some of the same issues
Lots of reading, here and the books HTIYMWTAI, The Dance of Connection. Steve Stosny has some helpful things on anger and communication on the web.
Lots of thinking, reflecting on conversations that don't go well. Being aware of my motivations.
Learning to ask for what I need in conversation as well as in life. If I don't understand something I ask. It does no good to continue a conversation with false assumptions about what the other person is saying.
Using "I" statements to state how I feel, when necessary. Trying not to say things "You always....." You never...."
Validating the other persons feelings.
A lot my changes are based on slowing down and thinking. Don't open your mouth if you have no idea what is going to come out.
Stop the conversation if it gets heated.
Practice this with all your communication, this is not just for DB.
Hope this is helpful.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
