The Lure of the Siren

[bustingout]

I don't mean to but in or be late here but something struck me about the not telling people also. For me, I felt shamed. I KNOW I did nothing wrong. However, by telling people that we were separated it almost felt like validating the horrible thought that I am not good enough or OW is better than me in some way. You know the old saying not woman enough to keep her man? Yeah. I bought into that. Not that it was smart. I still sort of buy into it in some ways.
I am ashamed. It makes me feel like I am broken when I have to say we are separated.
However, I have learned the hard way that things do NOT improve until all of the ugly truth is in the light.
Meaning..... so what? It's wasn't your choice but don't for one minute let LBS minimize your pain and your feelings by then lying and denying to everyone on the outside so that they can save face. It is fear of the consequences that keeps them from telling in the first place. It is fear of how peoples opinions might change, it is also fear that those feelings and opinions might be right! It nags on their conscience and lord knows the LBS hates it when the conscience rears it's ugly head. That might mean they are actually WRONG. Hmmmm.

I'm not sure if all that makes sense. I sort of got off on a rant. Could your not wanting to tell people be more reflective of being afraid of how you assume people might change their opinion of you more than her?

That is dead on. Good post!

I echo that! Excellent