The Lure of the Siren

[Arsene]

Arsene, I also agree that you need to take things at your own pace. I also had a very limited circle of friends, and after nearly two yeas, I finally have some friends (though it's still a work in progress.)

Things take time. I think you're seeing some positive signs from your W. She doesn't seem to be pulling away. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with the thoughts of the OM, but you are doing it and dealing with it the best way you can.

Sending you support and comfort...

Thanks Tori,

That is the way I see it now. I might change my mind later and if I do, I'll change what I do accordingly. This morning, I interacted with W a bit as she woke up here and took D8 to school. The interaction was pleasant but nothing more. I think it bothered her that I was out last night. That's ok. She then talked again about the art show tomorrow and reiterated her invitation for tomorrow afternoon. I asked about the details and said I'd see.

I'm rethinking things right now and I might just send D8 with her and let them spend the day together. Besides, I have something to do tomorrow evening anyway. I'm the jury for a CD compilation competition at the cafe where I play. Heck I'm even thinking about telling W to keep D8 with her overnight and take her to school on Monday. I can tell her I could use some time to myself.

I think that would be totally unexpected. I feel detached right now but I know it might not last. I was reading Denver's thread last night and I'm at the point when they just came back from Disneyland. Denver was going through a lot of the same thoughts I am right now.

Sometimes I wonder if it's a good thing to learn from others or if we just have to go through it ourselves. I mean Denver followed his gut a lot and made many mistakes. Would he be where he is now if it wasn't for the mistakes? Would he have gotten there sooner? Would he have gotten there at all? Sometimes, the very things we do to avoid a situation, end up creating what we are trying to avoid. Right now, I'm for learning from Denver's thread but following my gut. I think if I truly want to be where I need to be, I need to live it myself. I can't just make myself be there. Life needs to do that.

Cheers!