It's None of my Business

[BeingMe]

D20 seems to doing okay. She was in air force cadets with her friend, in the flag party. The only two girls, and my daughter was commander and felt like a bigger sister to her. D20 is no longer in cadets, but she went to the HQ, and the parents were there, letting everyone know what happened. They were all crying when D20 got there, so she ended up crying too. I think it was cleansing for them.

I posted this on Weniki's thread: "I used to think that I could take my H back, but that he would have to climb Mt. Everest. Now, I think it's too late. Like you, I look back and I see how much he has been in control of our lives. He has hidden things from me, lied to me, and hardly ever thought how things might effect me. I was the one always thinking about him and our children. I'm not perfect ... far from it, but in general, he was in control of our marriage.

I doubt I would take him back now."

I just want to note it, and add that I want my life back. It's funny though, how I still think of H as a "great" guy ... he's still being nice to me, kind, our friend's are all stunned about the D because he does give off the impression of being a good guy. I know him best ... I know it's mostly a facade. He's a paper cutout figure with no substance, can smile on command, and have a great time, but you never know what he's truly thinking. He never truly knew me ... he thought I was going to die when I had cancer ... I knew I was going to survive, and thrive.