He's Just Not That Into You

[RegretfulLA]

Maybe this is where you validate and say, "What can we do on both sides to start rebuilding our trust in one another?"

I think this is perfectly reasonable and a good strategy to try, but I fear that my H will find some rationale to argue with this. However, I'll bring it up in counseling.

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness today, and coincidence or not, the audiobook I am listening to on happiness had a whole section on forgiveness that came on while I was coming home from work. Forgiveness is essential. Forgiveness is not forgetting, forgiveness is not trust, forgiveness is not reconciliation. It's merely the first, but vital, step in mending this kind of hurt.

I do not think my H has ever forgiven his mother. He is a grudge holder to the extreme, and I believe his abandonment issues are playing deeply into our own dynamics.

I really hope we make some progress in MC, but these are the kinds of things we are going to have to deal with.