WAW seems to be making positive steps...whattodo?

[Dm45]

I don't believe they have any insights into how unfair and imbalanced thigns were within your marriage BEFORE OM.....

D does. I am sure of it. We had a LONG conversation a few days after DDAY, during which she enlightened me so much. She is very mature for her age in many ways. Graduated high school early and attending local college. pointed out I don't (didn't) discuss things but unilaterally decided things, always, then used disapproval, or maybe anger, to convince. It's not THAT hard to relate in better ways, I just somehow found this habit. Part of my business is sales... I KNOW it doesn't work there... Why would I think it worked anywhere else...

D said W actually told her "I wish he would just hit me so I could leave" which PISSES me off... My only response was "she said that?" D knew things were not good, and gives me the blame, while also saying "Nobody deserves this" (about the leaving, affair)

I am the one here with them so I think they will naturally give me more slack.

I HAVE apologized to them both together and separately, for how I've acted, who I've let myself become, what I've let happen. I am trying to own my mistakes with them as well. I do NOT want them thinking, "Mom had an affair for no reason and now she's back." Nor do I want them to see that behavior as a viable option for them in their futures.

I believe they are/were (depending which one, which day) very angry at me for the situation, especially D. All very closed toward me. She has softened toward me a little lately, sons moreso. I am trying to use what I learn here toward each of them as well.

Have you taught your daughter that it's how THEY should be treated?

Yesyesyes I grieve about that. One major reason to change.

Please watch for my post later about our (W and me) conversation today. Can't wait to share, but need to get ready for GAL activity...playing music w/oldest S, my brother, and some friends!