TVS--I do think that "parent" dynamic is big...her Mom tried real hard to praise, validate, etc, but her dad...he's the one who abused her sexually and then emotionally abandoned afterwards, pushing her hard away. W and I have talked about that and how it probably set this "there is wrong with me" and "I'm not good enough", etc deeply into her since childhood.
She also told her a while ago that her life purpose and self-image (tying back to what rH asked) was being a young Mom with young kids, and that when she went back home for her dad's funeral and spent a good portion of the summer there, the 2 younger ones changed from getting along and being perfectly happy doing simple things like going to the park with Mom to wanting more than that, and starting to fight and separate. She knew that "her time" and job was going to change and end someday. This was in 2008, where I place the beginning of her mlc and the denial stage...she just wasn't "right" after that summer.
As has been posted here, eventually the details come out, but never as soon as we wish.
Oh, and throw in peri-menopause and the hormonal tides getting whacked more than usual...
Perfect storm...
As far as how she came about accepting that maybe she was mlc, that was my going with my intuition that she was open to an idea from me and dropping the seed, and letting her research it herself. I did use some examples from the mlc'ers who posted here..."Oh, W, that sounds like what XX, who went through MLC, said she thought/felt/etc, in my forum"...
Sort of like when I found out about her then current meds completely changing the patients personality, turning off the empathy chip, the lawsuit, etc...I know we are both natural med oriented, and she hated spending the $$ for the meds, so I dropped the seed and the forum link (not here, this forum, elsewhere) regarding this issue and away she went...Next visit to her ob/gyn, she asked about the med, ob/gyn said she would never prescribe that and started her on a nice tame wellbuterin course, which seemed to lead to her re-connecting with the kids and family again. She has since gotten up her courage to drop that as well, she is determined to kick this depression's a$$ without any chemical help...she has accepted that the work is within, and the meds were just covering up the symptoms (in the case of the first med, which coincided with both rounds of replay) and in the second, taking the edge off long enough for her to gather herself up.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
