The Lure of the Siren

[Arsene]

Thanks AT. I understand your concern. As I said, though, I have to do this at my pace.

With regards to progress in me, as I mentioned earlier, considering where I started from, I think I've accomplished a lot in getting my life in order and achieving 180s. There is still loads to do and I am working on it. I just don't spend time writing about it. What you end up reading is the "big" stuff that's happening in my life, the stuff which affects me. There is a lot which doesn't quite make it here. That's usually the stuff that goes easily, without problems.

Then you ask me if I am enjoying the time with W. Well, there still isn't much between W and I that I truly "enjoy" right now, considering what I have to overlook everyday, but I feel like we're now in a much better place than we were a few months ago. Yes, she might still be with OM (she's spending so much time around these days that I actually wonder if he's still in the picture) . Yes, she still hasn't committed to working on the R. But at least now, we are in a position where this is a clear possibility as oppose to plain impossible.

I'm working on patience as one of my 180s and I've been told from the beginning that this would take a lot of time. I gave myself a two year plan which is to be re-assessed every few months. Right now, I'm trying to follow part of that plan until the end of December or until I notice that it isn't working anymore. So far, it's been working. I've managed to achieve most of my relationship goals, at great pain, yes but nonetheless, there is progress.

This week, W has been around almost everyday. She has even invited me out a few times (for dinner with D8), which I politely declined and today, as she has been invited to stay the night by D8 I made a point to get dressed and leave for the evening around the time D8 went to bed, leaving W to spend the evening by herself.

She's also invited me and D8 to an art exhibition on Sunday and I think I might actually accept this one since it is something she had complained about me in the past. She'd said that she was interested in local art but that I'd never really shown any interest in it myself and never supported her interest (I don't think I knew she was interested in it quite frankly). I'm still not committed to it but I'm considering it as a 180. I'll wait and see how the weekend develops before committing.

I don't think I'm sabotaging myself or any progress I might have made as IMO, I am still moving forward and sticking to my plan and although she "continues to do exactly what she's doing", she is also doing many new things which are steps forward (baby steps, but still steps forward).

Thanks again AT for your time. I really appreciate it.