Arsene I really worry about you mate. You need support out there, even if it's just a friend to have a beer with and listen to your troubles.
Reading your posts this morning, made me realise something about you. Everything you do is with the intention of pleasing or meeting the needs of your D or your W.
What about You? Your existence on this planet isn't to just fulfil an obligation. Everyday of your life, every breath, is an opportunity to be happy, sad, make a difference etc...
You have a defense mechanism and you know what it is? DB. DB is a toolkit, a strategy, a support mechanism, an online community.
We don't live in a DB vacuum, real life is going on all the time. Don't be scared of making decisions because of what a book said, that book isn't a literal one size fits all help book. It is there to help you, not hinder you.
One of the best things it says in the book, is to do what works.
Is it working? Are you just being a 'Nice Guy'?
You need to re-read these posts and find the courage to take charge of your life.
Do what Denver suggested, 'live for the here and now, not what might be'.
If you still think we are all wrong, and that we just don't get your sitch, think again. When your life is turned upside down and you lose things, people you held dear it hurts just the same.
Time to start living for you, not the past.
Bill
This is great. The great thing about DB'ing and taking the opportunity to have a HAPPY life, is that the right people will add to your happiness.
