Not sure I have any great wisdom for you, but it is comforting to know there are others out there pushing to save their R and not just because you have children at stake.
There are days and hours I swear my wife has been replaced by someone -- her actions and words are that confusing. Luckily I am becoming numb to the venom, anger and threats. Additionally, these three things are SLOWLY reducing -- at the moment anyway.
Keep up with DB and GAL'ing it is making detaching a little easier for me anyway.
HI Nick
Thank you for your comments. I don't expect alot of Wisdom from this point, in the beginning I was a wreck and could use alot of Wisdom but at this point, by following DB, GAL, 180's, I been pretty good on my communication with/without my W. But I do appreciate your concern and feedback!!!!!
I also like to vent because so many of us are in the same situation, its nice to vent here.
Just like you, i feel like my wife was replaced by someone else, for me it wasn't a gradually replacement, she literally became a different person over night. Prior to this, we physically were touching, we where about to buy a new house, we talked about vacation for next year, we talked about alot of Family things.
All it took was me approaching her about making this relationship better. I think this is one aspect I am different from others. I approached my W first to discuss and improve our Issues, she only dropped the bomb the day after. I thought with me trying to discuss it 1st, It would have been a relationship saver, instead it opened a can of worms. But i guess better to happen now, then later.
Sometimes i get the feeling her actions with the OM, is causing her to react either negatively or positivily with me. I can only hope the OM says something stupid to upset her. At least the only thing comforting me right now is, they can't physically comfort each other 24/7.
The other day, I asked her a simple question. I said you are going to sacrifice alot of good things in your life to be with this guy (kids, parent relationships, financially, etc) and what is this single guy sacrificing for you? He won't move up, he won't quit his job down there to be with a women who is sacrificing 15 years of her life. If i was this man and i knew a women was going to do this and if i truly loved her, i wouldn't wait, i would move up and find a job to be close to her.
Just trying to open her mind up, that fantasy land isn't that easy. Not sure if its working but instead of saying "you can't, you shouldn't, do it for the kids", i doing what a good friend should do, ask questions and let her decide if that is the path you want.
I have all but convinced myself, she wants to test the waters out. Extremely jealous of this but at the same time, i know people make mistakes. I am willing to give her a chance but as we grow apart and I start to feel confident, that chance becomes slimmer and slimmer.
