The crack in my separated life...

[Sweetbriar]

I agree SS that I just dont know what is going through his head...

Whoever said to me in a response that he would continue to ask ...was right...this is the text I just got about a hour ago:

H: No idea what to do about my visitation with the girls...do you have plans outside the house? I can stay with the kids if you do


DOES HE NOT GET IT..I ALREADY SAID NO...HE ISNT COMING TO THE HOUSE! I cannot make this easy for him and I know that I am risking him taking them to his parents which will totally upset my kids, but I cannot let him just waltz in the house and expect me to leave for even a few hours. I dont trust him..I have paperwork, and he can look up my stuff on my computer (like this site) and he will go in our old room where I keep my journals and stuff...no way will this happen.

Of course, I will be the bad guy. That I wont help make it easy for the kids....but honestly, I just cannot right now.

I want so BADLY to scream and yell and shake him and say: COME HOME AND BE WITH THEM EVERYDAY...BE A FAMILY WITH US.... But I will NOT do this..Iknow this gets me nowhere...its just so hard to not see that HE doesnt see how easy it would be to go to counseling and see what is left of our marraige and really work on it. I wish he would swallow his pride..stop being selfish, and just leave the OW in the dust..move toward the path of his family.

Im just really angry right now..sorry...im venting....

Its only gonna get harder, buddy...I hope he knows that...how is he gonna feel when baby boy is born and he gets an hour on the couch once a week to see him...real dad he will be!