Put your hands up; it's a wild ride

[someguy1233]

Goodbye Retrouvaille.

Last night during dinner and while playing with S, W was very quiet and withdrawn. I knew she had something to say… she always becomes withdrawn whenever she has something to say that I may perceive as a bad thing. I didn’t let it affect me and thoroughly enjoyed my time playing with S.

After we got S to bed W told me she didn’t want to go to Retrouvaille this weekend. She said she’s tired, emotionally exhausted, and needs to decompress. She said she can’t stand the thought of not seeing S for 3 days. She said that she just wants to stay home for the weekend and for us to do fun things with S. She said she’s not opposed to doing Retrouvaille another time, but that she can’t do it right now. She said it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to work on “us.” She asked if I was mad and I said, “no. I was hoping you’d join me, but it’s your decision.” I let the conversation about Retro go. There was no point in pushing further… Looking back, I wish I had asked what she wanted to do to work on “us.” We have no plan. I feel like we’re just floating in limbo land.

She said that lately I don’t talk very much. She said when we do talk I just stare at her. She said I don’t respond with more than a few words to her emails. I told her that I’m listening to what SHE has to say. She said, “well this is going to be a fun life. We’ll just sit and stare at each other.” I laughed and asked her how her job interview went earlier this week.

So obviously she’s noticed I’ve withdrawn. I’ve intentionally limited communication to give her space. Is this not the correct thing to do? Should I change this behavior?

When we went to bed she spooned me again. (reminder: the previous night she was on the couch again…) She held me tight and fell asleep.

This morning as I walked out the door I said, “let me know if you change your mind about Retrouvaille. The deposit is already paid.” She got frustrated and said that she doesn’t want to spend that much time away from S, but that it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to work on things. I told her, “no pressure. I’m just letting you know that you can change your mind if you want since we’re already paid for.”