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Originally Posted By: Grateful
I would also like some advice. Should I go ahead and find an apartment? I am still at parents. I guess I am worried about being tied to a lease in the small hopes of a R.


Is your W in a house, and is your name on the paperwork? If so then by law she cannot force you to stay out. You never should have left in the first place. Ask your L about it, but this came up in another thread recently and the L said to move back in. Some states equate leaving the house with "abandonment" of the children. Some states don't. Discuss it with your L.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Yeah, that is whay I am taking the book's advice with the LRT. It is the only way I think I can stop worrying about what she does and says.


BD: 8/20/2012
W Files: 8/23/2012
S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
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The lawyer said that I would be able to move back if I so choose. Right now, I am not sure that would work. We have been separated a couple of months, discussed the idea of me living in the basement and she said she thought it was a bad idea. I feel I would rock the boat too much by moving back in. L said live wherever you want though.


BD: 8/20/2012
W Files: 8/23/2012
S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
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Originally Posted By: Grateful
she said she thought it was a bad idea.

What do YOU think?

Originally Posted By: Grateful
I feel I would rock the boat too much by moving back in.

What, rock the boat and she might divorce you? Ummm .....

Originally Posted By: Grateful
L said live wherever you want though.

Listen to your lawyer.

Sorry if I come off a little harsh, but doormats aren't attractive, people wipe their feet on them.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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You're right. I have been a doormat lately. In regards to the house though, sure it would be great to see my kids more than 3 days a week, but my W is very appealing to me right now with some of the choices she is making. I was actually the one who hesitated when she asked due to not having peace with the idea. Then, she decided to come out and say she didn't think it was a good idea.


BD: 8/20/2012
W Files: 8/23/2012
S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
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Grateful,

You are getting some great advice.

Breakdown took the time to post a lot of questions to you this morning. I'm curious to know if you have taken the time to read and digest his post?


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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I have read the advice, and it was great. I am digesting it by the minute.

I do have another question. In DR, it does say that sometimes the WAS has closed the door on the M, and there isn't any chance of changing that. How do you know if that is the case? I mean, she has said it, but so have countless others that I have read on here.


BD: 8/20/2012
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S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
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There are a lot of factors that play into the outcome. Unfortunately nobody can answer your question.

That being said, you are a big factor in the equation. What changes are you making to improve your chances for a positive result?


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
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The biggest change I have made is using my 3 days with my daughters to their fullest. We always have something planned to do together. I have also began to excercise and read my bible which does make me feel better. It hit me the other day (stubborn) that GAL really isn't about impressing W; it is about making me better. I struggled with that since we don't live together and W can't see my changes (we spend no time at all together or on phone). I am worried about the holidays I must admit. As a teacher, I get a tremendous amount of time off, and being alone is not good for me.


BD: 8/20/2012
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D Final: 3/5/2013
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Originally Posted By: Grateful
How do you know if that is the case?

You don't.

But that shouldn't change what you should be doing.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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