T, Have you given any thought that maybe she feels "ugly" on the inside right now and thinks her outer self is just as ugly? Until she feels better about herself completely, this may be the word she's using to describe herself. I believe it's mlc related and once she's completed her crisis, she'll think differently.
If you notice her wearing something that really looks good, compliment her, but don't be gushy. I think it's safe to start dropping a few compliments her way.
When you were dating, what did you do to gain her attention? Think about this question long and hard and maybe it's time to start just a little bit of that "dating" back into your life, you know, you started out as friends and worked from there. Time to think about recreating some of that magic. Not a lot of magic, but just enough to get her thinking.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
