The crack in my separated life...

[Sweetbriar]

H took kids last night for dinner...uneventful...thank God! He did not come to door this time for either pick up or drop off. Its really easier that way!

As far as me moving out once a week...was never gonna happen! H actually wanted that to happen if he stayed here on weekends. He was okay with my staying here if I allowed him to stay one night a week during the week...but that wasnt happening either.

Soon, it will be my fault he never sees his kids because he has no where to take them. In his mind right now I have taken all his money and he cannot see his kids and IM THE ONE who isnt making it possible becuase I wont let him stay here once a week. UGGG...

Its weird..he acts totally normal when he is around the kids and Im sure his parents and OW. He also carried on a normal conversation the other morning with me...sounding very sane and fine..but then he has these random requests and get angry so quick. I guess that is why no one else may think he is crazy at the moment. He is able to come across to some as completely sane. Is this normal? That they only act crazy around the LBS?

He mentioned to the kids he wants to "hang out" this weekend with them and they will have to come up with something to do....he also told kids that he had no money and that he may be working part time at wamart:) Im sure this was a joke, as he is very intelligent with computers and could get a part time job working with computers making good money any day.

Is it totally bad DB behavior to be a bit happy that he is now seeing some of what he has done? I know this isnt waking him up at all..he still has OW to run to on weekends and get comfort from..but at least he is feeling some effect finally...as I feel it everyday...especially when my baby is kicking and I am sad that he isnt part of it. It really still baffles me...the more I think about him being gone during this pregnancy really has affected me more than I knew. He was SOOOO involved with my other pregnancies..and my girls..and now, NOTHING. There is no doubt in my mind that he has some kind of MLC going on...for someone to just change in so many ways...to not care about the things that were so important to him just 7 months ago...what is that all about?

7 months ago we were still his world...until OW entered it...I still cannot wrap my brain around how these WAS's and MLCers can just up and leave...and leave their worlds behind them...I have a baby coming into this world now...and he will hardly know his dad:(

Just rambling this morning...sorry...