LOL, thanks guys (or should it be "girls"?), you're the best!

Don't know where to start to reply, so I'll just start...

Spending any money on her would not go over well, money is one of her control freak issues and one of our long term M issues, with her upbringing driving her to fear all the time, and my confidence that "I can always work more to get more" butting heads...I am meeting her more than halfway as part of my changes. And she has always been one who liked to pick out her own stuff, and she has a drawer full of stuff that I have never seen on her, just the vidchat/cyber/RL(?) OMs have...so...

I have a pro massage table, and know how to use it...:) the offer is tendered weekly, with no expectations. But refused... idk.

I get the fun and self-esteem boost getting noticed brings, when I was an active musician I got it a lot, but it wasn't something I went out of my way seeking, and if I don't get noticed, I really don't care. I do care if W thinks I'm desirable, and as long as she does then I'm cool with not getting noticed. With her it seems the opposite, and as both of you said, it may be part of her dynamic with mlc, depression, etc.

I'm just trying to find understanding for when/if we start getting back to ML and such.

I will re-read this tomorrow, getting late, thank you rH and TVS!

T^2

In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm