LOL! So the million dollar question is: How does a narcissist make someone else feel truly loved?
A, it's wonderful to hear that you've gotten past it in your sitch. I so hope for the best for you going forward. You've certainly earned it.
I think it doesn't help in my sitch that, although H has apologized for the EA, he's still defending it as being nothing. "Just catching up with an old friend. She lives 3 states away, nothing was going to happen." Can you apologize and still not see it as wrong? Seems to me like something is still not right with that.
Boy, I'm really gutting myself tonight. It's great to have a place to dump. I don't know what I'd do with myself tonight otherwise.
I want H to experience what I've experienced with him. I want to start an EA with someone and have it go on for months and then let H read it.
I want to trash him to my family so that they reject him like his family did me. So that every time there's a family function, he gets to deal with their dirty looks, while I tell him, "it's okay, they're family, they just want what's best for me. You need to forgive them and move on."
I want to lie to him about things periodically, so he doesn't know anymore whether I'm telling the truth or not.
I want to talk with him in-depth about something he wants, why he wants it, get him to expose his deepest feelings about it. Then I want to do just the opposite, because my BFF wanted it that way.
The thing is, I don't want to do any of this as punishment or out of vindictiveness. I just want him to experience what I'm having to deal with, so that we're both operating with the same handicap. Otherwise, I just don't think he gets it. I'm having to deal with all of this stuff, this messy, long-term and permanent BS, and his big issue is that he's not getting sex right now.
