Why do you protect your wife from feeling the agony she has caused you? How do you think she will ever learn if she does not know this knowledge?
Arsene: I think THIS ^^^^ is probably the most important post you've had on your thread yet. And it's one that you NEED to answer.
You don't have to answer it here, but you owe it to yourself to toss this around in your head and come to a true conclusion.
We ALL know that you love your W... That you're trying anything and everything to get back together with her.
But all of us outside of your situation are seeing the same thing... What you're doing now is simply NOT working.
For anyone.
Including your D.
I completely understand the social stigma you're dealing with here, and your reluctance to be open and honest with people you aren't particularly close with...
But the biggest issue I see is... well... You're not being honest with yourself right now.
You, much like me, are grasping at straws... searching high and low of ANY signs of a thaw in your situation...
But in that desperation to see progress, you're sabotaging the hard work you've been doing.
The facts are the facts here Arsene... While she MIGHT be rethinking her decision... she's taking ZERO action in rectifying the damage she's done.
A few posts on FB, a couple cryptic conversations, and spending a little more time at the house...
What you see as progress... I see as the strengthening of the limbo you're in...
JMO.
I read a LOT about you "getting back to backing off" and "going back to GALing"... and then a post or two later, you're talking about yet another asinine conversation your W baited you into.
And that wouldn't be a big issue if you were able to simply shrug it off and move on... but at this point... you can't... you analyze, you interpret, and you look for signs of life in the wastelands...
I guess I count myself lucky that my W isn't dropping by the house or trying to have conversations with me anymore...
But you know what? I'm pretty sure I created that lucky streak once I really and truly set the boundaries I set.
And It was the hardest thing I've had to do... To truly realize that I HAD TO stop grasping at every kind word she might say... every moment of doubt she had... and every dying ember of a doomed relationship... because my heart told me that if I tried hard enough, I could reignite that old flame...
But that old flame...
It burned out...
Or more accurately: It burned our F-in old relationship to the ground... and I had to stop staring at those smoldering ashes and remembering how great it USED to be...
Arsene, you HAVE to figure out how to let her go... You HAVE to let her try to find her own way in this world WITHOUT you... because as long as you're there to catch her when she stumbles, you'll be exactly where you are today...
And we all know that's not a place worth living in.
