I have read the books an dget the theory but i have no idea how to do it. I love him so much and still feel so married in my heart. I feel like i was thrown out like trash and he is okay and i am broken.
I don't know what to do?
I am trying just lost?
What did you do?
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
What are your hobbies? What haven't you done in a long time that you wish you could do? Who haven't you seen in a while?
ie: Go do things for yourself. Get a life. Don't go out and talk about your relationship with friends. Use this time to go have fun.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
I have read the books an dget the theory but i have no idea how to do it. I love him so much and still feel so married in my heart. I feel like i was thrown out like trash and he is okay and i am broken.
He's not OK. He may be giving that impression outwardly, but he's more likely confused and in turmoil. The more you are needy and clingy the farther away you push him. The more you detach and give him space then the sooner he begins to heal and think things through. The key to detachment is not to do it for him, but to do it for yourself. You are obviously still very attached to him and that's what you need to break. When you pull back and start focusing on yourself then your own healing will begin. It is absolutely the most difficult thing you will do, but when you do it things DO get better.
everyone says i should do a hobby problem is I am broke why he has all the money now lots of things i would love to do but not going to happen at the moment
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
everyone says i should do a hobby problem is I am broke why he has all the money now lots of things i would love to do but not going to happen at the moment
GAL = "get a life". That can be starting a hobby, but it can also be many free or cheap things like walking, running, bicycling, having a picnic at the park, flying a kite, calling up old friends, meeting new ones, doing volunteer work, gardening, etc. People make all kinds of excuses why they "can't" GAL, but really they just don't want to admit the real reason- they don't want to. When you're depressed and wallowing in despair you don't want to do anything. But that's exactly the reason you should GAL, because it's the one thing that will bring you out of that hole in the ground. I am a perfect example of this, I wanted to sit and mope all day, not GAL. I dragged myself kicking and screaming into GAL. At first it was walking, then jogging, then lifting weights, then as I started feeling better about myself I reached out to old friends, had lunches with them, talked on the phone to them, told them my story and listened to theirs, dusted off old hobbies, started doing more stuff with my kids, etc. etc. It doesn't make the pain go completely away, but it gives you your self-esteem back and reminds you that you are a great person with strong values that has had a temporary setback that needs to be dealt with. So get out, GAL. Excuses will only keep you in the hole.
your right i do need to do more i have always had a good fitness routine an dam continuing to do so. it just doesn't feel like i am socializing enough but don't know what to do. I get that people are stressed for me but feel like i am always under attack
which stinks because it makes me want to retreat. need to meet more people just not sure how to.
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
i do need to put myself out there more feel awkward and weird. stinks that i am not really working right now. th would help a lot been looking can't find anything in my field so working part time at a dry cleaner which is horrible.
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
Volunteer somewhere... See if there are any Clubs of any type of interests you have somewhere nearby.. I had a volunteer position turn into a full time position before.. Networking like crazy in those positions...
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
I have signed up for quite a few meet up events none are in my home town but meant to go in to a different city and try. but keep getting scared and not going. I really need to work on it.
m: 32 H:33 T:7 M:4
7/12 says he might want out 8/12 find out about ow he wants a D 9/12 he says he loves me not here wants me back 9/12 he pull away 11/12 still separated
