CB, I'm not sure I understand your question. I never felt like I was protecting my wife as people I now know are not usually in her circle. The few people I meet now who might know her are not close enough for me to start talking about my situation. Perhaps subconsciously you are right. I don't know.
I guess deep inside, I am embarrassed because it turns out she isn't the perfect person I thought she was. I used to be so proud of her and thought she was different from other women. In fact, there is a stigma in this country for women who do her job. Women who sing in bars (heck, women who simply ARE in bars) are automatically branded as "loose" women and I always stood up for her, and now, she is living the stereotype. I feel like I've been fooled all these years. She's fallen off the pedestal I jacked her up on.
As far as learning, I think she is learning, but at her pace. There is nothing I can put in her face that is going to make her learn any faster. She knows the consequences of her actions. She lives them everyday that she spends away from her daughter, sleeping on the floor of some room with shared bathrooms and no hot water. She lives through them every time she HAS to take on a job, whether or not she feels like it. She lives through them every time she talks to her friends and has to lie so she doesn't come out like the "baddy". Me shaming her in public (any more than she is doing herself by her actions) isn't going to help my situation. JMO.
I am just heading out Arnse. But you did not understand what I asked you.
I asked you about hiding yourself from her. Pretending that it is not ripping you apart on the inside. Always being upbeat and happy to see her when it is the furthest thing from the truth. Not letting her know how it ruining your heath and you are on anti-depressants so you can function day to day with her random drop-ins and D8's hurt and the consistent ongoing affair. Nothing about shaming her in public. I do not know why you keep going back to that train of thought.
Is it because it made you uncomfortable so you had to deflect?
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
