Agree fully with Ruby and UF. There is no fast forward button. Work through the process, GAL, detach, etc. You will begin to feel better, stronger, in time. I can tell you for a fact that you will be in a much better place emotionally to deal with D if it comes to that.

Lastly, if you don't want to pay for her health insurance begin to make plans to separate it.

M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce