Rick, To answer your questions and maybe give a little more information about my sich. My H and I have been married 17.5 years but been together 25. We were high school sweethearts. He says the trouble started a couple years ago when we decided against him accepting a promotion in another state. Of course he blames me, but I thought it was a mutual decision. Last year the subject came up again and I sort of questioned whether I was ready to move or not. He took this to mean I was not supportive. After that he says he began to withdraw from us. I didn't realize the distance until that summer. I could do nothing right. The time I spent with kids was too much. The house was not clean enough. We didn't go out with friends. You name it. Last fall he began an EA with a woman he works closely with at the ballpark our kids play at. He is the president of the board there and she is the "b in charge" her words not mine. We had been friends in the past. I can't prove a PA, but it wouldn't surprise me. I have seen emails with inappropriate pictures in them. This Valentine's Day I got the bomb drop. ILYBINILWY. March 16th he moved out. Since that time I have had a roller coaster of a ride. I felt like I was drowning at first and did all the wrong things. That lasted about a month. Since then I have been in counseling and have learned a lot about myself. I am truely GAL. I have friends like I never had before. I am more busy than I have ever been. It's actually a refreshing change as far as my growth is concerned and I have actually thanked God for allowing me to go through this to open my eyes to what I was becoming. My kids D15,S12,and D7 are doing as good as can be expected. Their dad is spending time with them pretty frequently. He coaches my son's football team so we see him almost everyday right now. He has the 2 youngest every other weekend. The oldest makes excuses so she doesn't have to go. She is very angry. As far as my relationship is concerned, H and I get along great. Most of the people in the community don't even know we are having problems. If we are in the same place, he usually ends up beside me. We talk on the phone, when he calls, for an hour at the time. This is where the frustration comes in. If you can tolerate me that much, then why on earth can't you at least make an effort to get help. Meeting with the lawyer gave me peace of mind. I'm glad I went. I had decided not to tell him even without the advice. If there is anything I have learned through all of this it is not to react hastily. You have time to think so do it. Most of the time I talk myself out of things before I make a mistake. This has definitely been a learning experience. God has given me strength like I never knew I had. I am more committed to my marriage than I thought I could be. It's a crazy ride but for now I'm just holding for dear life and hoping for the best. I hope that means reconciliation, but who knows what God has in store.
