Wasn't it a validation of her emotion? This is one of her biggest complaints. ((Me not taking care of her) Shouldn't I validate, and didn't I use mirroring (from turtle web site)??? And didnt she bring it up when she told be she was angry I didnt take care of her? I'm so confused!
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Can you explain what 180's you think you did here? She didn't bring up R stuff, YOU did. I see no validation or mirroring either unless you're talking about "I'm sad that you're sad." But that's not validation, validation would be asking her why she feels sad and telling her things like "I can tell you're sad, I understand why you feel that way." Don't imply that her emotions drive your emotions, that you feel a certain way because she does.
I thought she brought up the R, or her emotions, when she told me about her anger toward me.
I also thought I was doing 180's when, after she brought up missing the kids, I offered help rather than telling her what she needed to do, as in past conversations above.
Also, expressing care about her emotions I was attempting to 180, as I believe one of my offenses has been devaluing her emotions and opinions.
I get what your saying about asking why she's sad, though, then agreeing I'd feel sad too.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
