Please stick with your other thread until it hits 100 posts, then start a new one. It's hard to track your sitch and what advise has been discussed if you have multiple threads. Regarding the above:
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What do you want me to do?
You're trying to fix her problems. Stop doing that. The idea of giving her time and space is so that she can work through her issues on her own.
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I've talked to S20, and S17. Told them you said you wanted to work on fixing Rs but needed to know they would try. They said they would. Plan on talking to D17 too. What else can I do?
You're trying to control things. Stop. Butt out. She needs to resolve her relationship issues with the kids and with you, and she needs to do it on her own.
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I didn't take care of you in the way you need. Tell me more about that.
That's an R talk. Don't ever initiate R talks!
20. All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while).
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I think I did some 180s there? Not as forceful as I am known to be? Let her bring up the R stuff, validated, attempted mirroring.
Can you explain what 180's you think you did here? She didn't bring up R stuff, YOU did. I see no validation or mirroring either unless you're talking about "I'm sad that you're sad." But that's not validation, validation would be asking her why she feels sad and telling her things like "I can tell you're sad, I understand why you feel that way." Don't imply that her emotions drive your emotions, that you feel a certain way because she does.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
