Dealing with the reality of separation

[PeteWyo]

It's hard to make positive progress when there's a OM in the picture.

I would substitute the word 'hard' as used in the first paragraph of JB's post, with the word 'impossible'.

You need to learn patience. You've just started this process. I was in a stalemate for 18 months... many of us here are in it for that long or longer.

With that said, if you are done... be DONE.

This is where I keep getting hung up I guess. I would have all the patience in the world for her if I knew there was any chance that the OM was going to be out of the picture at any point in the near future. But as far as I know, she is living in his house, paying for his mortgage and bills. That relationship will not last, I know that wholeheartedly and everyone that knows my W and DB (Read OM) agrees with that. But it may take years to blow up and I can't wait that long. I refuse to be the B option for that long. I have my issues that I am going to continue to work on, I think everyone has something that they wish they could change or improve about themselves. But I am done beating myself up. I am a good person and a good husband. I treated my W like an angel and took better care of her than I probably should have. Someone else out there deserves that treatment and will appreciate me for me.