The Lure of the Siren

[Denver_2010]

Thanks,

It does feel a bit better but that might be because the meds are kicking in again. I'm focusing on GAL right now and pushing on with a few things which were on hold so I hope to make myself busy to the point where I don't see W all that much. I've read the thread on pursuer/distancer and it does ring a bell so I'm going to see if I can make her come a little closer.

It was a bit awkward tonight at my gig. I'm starting to meet more and more people and tonight I met this drummer who remembers meeting me a few years back and started talking about my W. I don't really want this in the open so I just nodded and smiled and stayed quiet.

At work today, it came up and I kind of had to tell a few people there that my W and I were separated. Maybe it's what I need to get out of denial, which is where I think I am sometimes. Really, I still think that W will wake up and come back home. Is it wishful thinking, me knowing my wife or delusion? Who knows? Maybe telling people about it will wake me up from my delusions, if that is what they are.

Not trying to be harsh Arsene, but I completely think that you are in denial of your situation. If you haven't told co-workers, friends and family that you are separated by now, then there is a problem. That's not to say that you need to tell them details, but to not tell people who you are close to the reality of your life... well, it screams of denial.

Not that it matters, but I decided very early on to be very upfront with everyone close to me about the situation, ie, my W leaving me. I just viewed it like ripping off a band aid. ONce it was out there, I dropped the topic. When others brought it up when I didn't feel like talking about it, I politely told them so.

I think that getting out of this denial will help you take a step forward with what you need to do... which is let your W be and let her travel her own path without you.

JMO Arsene.