If you're coming down with something, then that will probably color your feelings, emotions, rational mind and self-control, so try to put off any "big" decisions until you feel better.
Yes, you are angry, you do need to feel it and express it, but do that safely/privately...meaning here in the forum, at IC, at the gym, anywhere but at W or S.
Okay, here comes the tough love man...why the hell are you letting HER actions and choices CONTROL YOU and YOUR behavior like you are? You are letting her toss hives of bees in your bonnet. I have been there, it is horrible, and the only way out is through YOU changing YOURSELF, accepting this messed up reality, as it is, and getting hold yourself and your reactions. You cannot control her, all "shoulds" of your former worldview and M are gone, zilch, N/A. The more you react the way you are, the more she is going to feel justified in continuing her crap and wanting to leave the marriage. Is that your goal?
Help me out here, who are your male role models? What would they do?
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
