Journaling:
QUOTE: the person experiencing the crisis is actually the one that controls the severity of the "acting out"

I guess that would be me...I am going to pull back on this with h. Today h said can he just have his melt down and be pissed off!

QUOTE: acting as a friend will assist you. You have to become an "outsider" in order to do this. Pretend the mlcer is just a buddy that you see every now and then and not your spouse. If you can do this, you will have a better opportunity to have them open up at some point. Don't push the mlcer to talk!

I want to learning how to talk to H as if he's an outsider. I have to keep my mind separate from my heart, cause if the two hear each other then I get very emotional and can't DB the better way!

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!